Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
