Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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