so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
