That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
