see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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