who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
