i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
