3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
