If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
