apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
