this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
