strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You made out with two different species that night
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
