i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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