I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
