I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
