Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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