The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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