how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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