plz talk dirty to me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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