Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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