Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
