Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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