forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize