Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
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