break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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