sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom