Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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