Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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