I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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