when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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