you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
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I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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