My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
