its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
