...so i touched it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
