Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
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My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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