i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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