now i know why i became what i already was.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
