I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
