You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
