I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
