If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
where am i from again
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
