I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
