I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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