nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize