so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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