um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
that is very illegal...i love you.
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