Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
