Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
