You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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