I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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