Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She even gives head with a lisp.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
