Whod you bang
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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