i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
