dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize