Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
third nipple confirmed
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
