Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
