did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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