i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
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