I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The uberlube is also flammable
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
