Three words: puerto rican gang bang
P.S. I can't hear my feet
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
