Do vagina's smell?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
